I will remember you
by MO.09
Summary: **all human When theres a tragedy in forks how will Bella and Edward cope? And then will they be reunited as they head to collage?
1. Chapter 1

Preface

**Preface**

"Edward I will never forget you and you better call me everyday."

"I promise Bella don't worry things will work out and maybe I could get Carlisle to buy us plane tickets to visit each other." Edward wiped away my tears and hugged me horribly tight.

"Bella dear come on you need to get on the plane it's time to leave." My mom broke Edward and my hug and dragged me on board.


	2. Chapter 2

My name is Isabella, but really I think that name is too much to carry through out my time

**Hey guys this is my first fanfic and I'm hoping for a good response. But If you think otherwise tell me also! Thank you for reading this.**

**Chapter 1**

My name is Isabella, but really I think that name is too much to carry through out my time. So if you even think about calling me that think twice, it's Bella. I moved to forks when I was around 12 because my mom didn't need me as much any more. She had married and should spend time with her new husband rather then me, Even if it was hard for the both of us.

By the way I'm just catching you up to the present. My best friends, my only friends are the Cullen's. Well and the Hale's but they're considered the same family in my book. They are Edward and Emmet Cullen and then Rosalie and Jasper Hale. Emmet and Rosalie are thinking about marriage and Jasper and Edward have been friends for longer then I have know.

Edward is the boy in any girls dream, their night in shining armor. To me though he is the best friend I could ever dream of, the one who helped me through my problems and introduced me to his family after he saved me from the play ground bullies. We were two peas in a pod and nobody could change that about us.

I woke up to my alarm blaring that piercing noise that everyone hates. Obviously there was no escaping the first day of school even if I wanted to. I rolled onto the floor with an umpf when I hit the floor. I heard a light giggle coming from somebody in my room and instantly I shot up hitting my shoulder on my bed. Now the laughter was full and I could see Edward in my rocking chair cracking up as I rubbed my shoulder and walked to the bath room.

"Hey grab me something to wear, please." I yelled through the door. There was a knock and I opened it to have clothing flung at me. "THANK YOU!" I yelled slightly annoyed. Since when do people watch you sleep!? Well I guess its because Edwards not normal! "hehehe" I had to giggle and that lame remark I mad in my head.

"What are you laughing about in there?" I heard him yell through that door. I don't understand how he heard that but whatever.

"YOU!" I yelled straight back and giggled a bit more. I stepped out of my clothes and into the shower washing my hair with my favorite strawberry shampoo and conditioner. I turned off the water and got out nice and calm, that's my favorite thing about a nice warm shower, the feeling that everything is just being washed away. I changed quickly and ran a brush through my hair before putting it into a high ponytail. I looked once more in the mirror before walking out the door, my mouth dropped. I looked at what Edward gave me to wear, skinny jeans and a v cut shirt that went a little below my chest. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GIVE ME TO WEAR!?" I yelled at Edward.

"Well I thought it might look good on you and I love when you wear that color blue." He said that very calmly, gosh. I walked out the door grabbing my jacket and a walked to the kitchen to grab a cereal bar. Edward caught up to me though and grabbed me around my waist turning me around.

"You are my best friend Bella and I hope you understand that. Our first day is going to be great and you will meet a good boy and have classes with me!" He gave me an assuring hug and pulled my hand to the car.

"I don't know what you mean about boy though, I'm ok alone." I smiled at him and got in the car and we drove to the terrifying school. Edward and I had the almost the same schedule, last period he had football practice and I had free time in the music hall because I got a doctors not to relieve me of any gym.

"Okey dokey Bella were here time to come back to the normal world." He reached over and ruffled my hair I slapped his hand away and got of the car.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Bpov

"UGH! Edward why are you always messing with me!?" I whined walking over to where Jasper stood. He picked me up in a hug and asked what was wrong.

"Jasper, Edward is being mean again," I explained with my puppy dog eyes on his face seeing if I could get help, "I mean just look at what he made me wear!" I said opening my jacket enough for only his eyes.

"Bella, I don't think that is mean. You look beautiful in that." He said eyeing me with a weird look on his face so I covered my body with the jacket.

"See I told you I was only watching out for you." Edward said he seemed to have his gaze a little lower then my head though.

"Boys." I said under my breath. Jasper and Edward just laughed at my outburst of the day, and I happened to have a little idea while they did this so I kept going, I was going to win this!

"Edward stop it! I hate boys teasing and messing around!" I said with a stomp of my foot and huff coming out of my mouth.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, to me it seems as if I'm not messing with you, But I am simply teasing you with my brotherly feelings." I hated how he did that, but it was exactly what I needed.

"Well Edward would it bother you if I did this!?" I grabbed Jasper who was the guinea pig in this project and kissed him extremely fiercely. Weirdly Jasper responded and kissed me back so I pulled up, feeling weird using him like that.

"WHAT THE HELL BELLA!?" Ah the reaction I was waiting for. I gave Edward a kiss on the cheek, and walked away with a grin plastered on my face. Victory is mine, as always. He thought that I was some silly girl oh but did I show him when I did that!

The first class we had was calculus, I would be ok for today because when we got the books I read ahead a little bit. I don't remember the exact thing but either way it would be something pointless that I would never use in life. I sat down in the class room and Edward came in behind me with a defeated look on his face. It was a bit sad but I knew that after he started talking to one of his many girls in waiting he would be a bit better. Ah speak of the devil and the devil will come, Jessica came up and leaned over the front of his desk.

"Hey Edward," She was obviously trying to be sexy and get him to like her, "What are you doing this Saturday?"

"I'm hanging out with Bella and Jasper," I looked at him and was surprised.

"Oh ok I guess I'll talk to you later, Bye." Jessica said a little less enthusiastic then before. I looked at Edward and just sat there for a moment waiting till he decided to forgive me. It felt like hours sitting there but he finally turned to me.

"Why did you do that?" He asked a bit harsh.

"Uh Edward last time I checked you were trying to get me a boy and well I'm not your girlfriend you have no leash on me." I said a bit quieter then him but it still held the same amount of effect towards him. His facial expressions looked a bit sad but I didn't know why, we were just friends.

"What are you doing tonight?" he said still a bit down but I decided I'd cut him some slack.

"I'm going to your house!" His face lit up when I said that and it made me extremely pleased. I didn't understand that other feeling I was having though, it felt nice and warm. Did I have other feelings for Edward? Or were they the normal kind that you had for a brother?

EPOV

I saw her get out of the car and run to Jasper and he picked her up and hugged her. There was a pull in my head and I knew Jasper liked Bella, he knew I liked her too. I got of the car and walked up to the two of them.

You look beautiful in that." Jasper was telling her and I saw the lust in his eyes. She wrapped her jacket around a little tighter then usual

"See I told you I was only watching out for you." I told her looking a little lower then her face. I couldn't help myself and I could tell Jasper couldn't either as he looked at her butt.

"boys" I heard her mumble under her breath and I just laughed, Bella was unintentionally funny. Then I saw a plan brewing in her eyes. "Edward stop it! I hate boys teasing and messing around." She stomped her foot and it was surprising that she would do this. So I decided to play with her, this was a game for two.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, to me it seems as if I'm not messing with you, But I am simply teasing you with my brotherly feelings." She looked a bit mad but also pleased.

"Well Edward would it bother you if I did this!?" She turned to Jasper and kissed him with pleasure flaming inside of him. It made me a bit sad but really I was angry. She broke it off and looked at me.

"WHAT THE HELL BELLA?" I was so mad I couldn't believe she would do that to me. God now I could never tell her how I felt with her walking around obviously not liking me. She walked away and I went to class behind her. When we got in I sat in my spot next to her. I ignored Jessica's flirting technique as she asked what I was doing. I immediately turned her down, not that I'm a mean person it's just there was nowhere left for anyone but Bella. After I could feel her gaze for a good thirty minutes I turned to her.

"Why did you do that?" I asked a bit harsh but I didn't care it hurt and I didn't understand why.

"Uh Edward last time I checked you were trying to get me a boy and well I'm not your girlfriend you have no leash on me." It was like a firecracker exploding. She was feisty.

"what are you doing tonight?" trying to get my mind off of things.

"I'm going to your house!"


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys I hope it is up at your standards cause its not to mine

**Hey guys I hope it is up at your standards cause its not to mine. Just to clear some things up Alice isn't related to Edward if you were thinking that (nobody has met her that will come later), also Edward is nervous about telling Bella how he really feels. He thinks she likes Jasper. Let's just wait to see what happens and I promise you this will get better. Oh one more thing. This chapter will more then likely be just Bella's Point of View. Thanks**

**Chapter 3**

Bpov

The day went by pretty quickly, Edward and I were best friends again by 2nd period which was good for both of us because we needed to have partners in ELA and Jessica and Mike came running. Sucks for them, goodness maybe if she could quick talking so much she could get a boyfriend. Mike he is just so pitiful, he could get a lot of girls but he goes for the one who doesn't want him. Hate to sound me but this is how I feel. After they left moping I needed to speak with Edward.

"Hey before I go over to your house could you pick me up from my house and take me to visit Charlie I haven't seen him in two days?"

"Yeah, you know I would do anything for you." Edward said looking down shyly

'Uh that's a bit weird but cute, I love Edward. Oh crap what did I just say in my head? I need to stop thinking to myself. Oh wait I'm still looking at him turn and smile god Bella!' I kept my head down the rest of the day blushing. Come on school be over!

"YES!" I yelled as the bell rang for gym to be over, I ran to my red truck and raced (in the speed limits) to my house. When I got there I went inside to grab some things Charlie might want, even though he had most of the contents with him. Then I knew what I could bring him, some cookies! I got right on that making them chocolate chip because I knew that Charlie loved those when he was at home. I looked at the clock and it said 5, he would be coming in soon put his gun up and go watch the game till I was done with dinner. The door opened and I heard somebody walk in, I got extremely happy but my smile just dropped a bit when I saw Edward walk in to the kitchen.

"Are you ready yet Bella?" He smiled a little bit of sadness flamed through his words probably at my expression, and even maybe at the tears that fell when he wasn't Charlie.

"Let me put these cookies on a plate and wrap them up for him and we can head over." I grabbed the spatula and got to work but only to be stopped once I started by Edward wiping my face. I looked at him and smiled a bit weakly he ment so much to me and I wish I could explain it but I didn't. Charlie needed me right now and we had to go before he went to sleep. So I finished up the plate and rushed us outside so we could get there quickly.

Edward pulled into the hospital parking lot and looked over at me worried; I grabbed the cookie plate and looked at him.

"I'm fine come on." I got out of the car and fast walked to the hospital, halfway there I found Edward's hand in my own and gave him a little squeeze. I thought it was funny me comforting him when it should be the other way around. We got the elevator and went up to the 2nd floor. I bounced on my heels extremely scared at how he was going to look. How much had the cancer taken since two days ago? Was he the same or was he on the edge? 6-8 months was what they gave us, this is month 7 how long did he have? All the questions shot across my mind in the 5 seconds we were in the elevator. Then the doors opened to the lobby I typically ran down to his door but composed myself before I walked in where I remembered that I had Edward attached to me by his hand. I smiled and lightly squeezed again but this time it was for me not him. He looked down at me and nodded. So I opened his door and walked in knowing that my best friend was here with me for help.

"Dang Charlie you look like shit." I said as soon as I saw him. Just as I had thought the cancer was beginning to take over but not like I had though it was going horribly fast. I placed the cookies on his bed side table, let go of Edward which made this more difficult and went down for a hug. He didn't really move to hug back but I knew he wanted to.

"Thank you for the cookies Bells, Hello Edward." My dad said a bit out of breath.

"Hello sir." Edward said and backed up so my dad and I could talk a bit.

"I miss you at home." I said with a tear falling down my right cheek.

"I miss being at home, and eating your dinners instead of this stuff." He said pointing to the meal he place on the table. The food was barely touched and it hurt that he wouldn't eat.

"You're not going to get better if you don't eat Charlie." I got a little mad telling him the same thing I did every time I came to visit.

"I know I know bells but I can't swallow without it hurting like crazy. The sores are screwing everything up." he said so helplessly and he seemed like he was about to drift off to sleep. "Bella I'm extremely tired the chemo is killing my sleep schedule. Could you come back another day?" He said and smiled.

"Yes I will don't worry and get some sleep." I kissed the top of his head and turned before walking out the door, it looked like he was trying to tell Edward something. "Bye dad, get better." I smiled one last time and walked outside waiting for Edward to come out of the room after me but it took longer then I expected. All of the sudden it started getting a little hard to be in here so I left and walked outside where it was windy and raining. I let the wind blow my hair across my face and wash my mind of the thing I just saw. A hand was placed on my shoulder and I looked to find Edward standing behind me. I started to cry and he took me in his arms and held me for a while. He stroked my hair and tried calming down. I finally gained control and looked at him before I took his hand and walked to his car.

"And now we need to head over to your house before Jazzy poo wonders where we are." I said joking around. I saw Edward roll his eyes at that comment.

"Ok we'll be there in like two minutes." He said monotone. I looked at him with confused facials plastered on my head.

"What Is wrong Edward? Why have you been like this?" We pulled into his house and he turned off the car to look at me.

"I can't figure out who you want! Jasper or me!" He said harshly it hurt I wish that I could tell him but he walked out of the car and towards the house that towered over us.

"Hey guys what took you so long?" Jasper asked looking at me.

"We were visiting somebody, sorry we lost track of the time Jasper. I really forgot about coming here." I said which made HIM mad! Ugh what is wrong with boys do they think I just lie!? I tell the truth most of the time, but that didn't stop Jasper from leaving. He walked right passed us with such anger that I thought he absorbed some of it from Edward. I just stared at him with my mouth glued open already and watched him storm to his car. I was distracted from Jasper driving away by my phone ringing.

"Hello?" Jaspers headlights and backlights weren't visible in the night anymore.

"Hello is this Isabella swan?" Why was jasper so mad? Oh and Edward?

"Yes but please its Bella. Is there a problem?" This call was making me nervous.

"Bella, your father Charlie Swan has just passed away in his sleep. I can promise you he isn't hurting anymore and that he was extremely happy you were there to visit him." My breathing started getting heavier, my vision a bit blurred. "Bella? Isabella? Ms.Swan are you there?" I couldn't breathe, let alone talk. Edward came to my rescue though and grabbed the phone and told them I was fine and that we would find out what to do. I just sat there, he can't be dead. I just brought him cookies; his birthday was two weeks ago. No it's not real. This is just a joke; yeah somebody is pulling a dumb joke on me because they found out about Charlie.

"Bella, you're staying over here tonight ok? I can't leave you alone, not now, not ever." Edward said wrapping me in his arms. I just let my tears loose into his shirt. He lifted me up still in the ball against his chest and took me to his room. I was put on his couch and he ran to get me his tissue box. He put the box beside me and sat down bringing me on top of his lap trying to soothe me with words. But words weren't want I needed right now, I needed Charlie to come to this house and pick me up in his police cruiser.

"Edward, how. i-is he gone?" I stuttered through my heavy breathing and waterfall like tears.

"Bella you know how, he had cancer and it was just too much." He said quietly and a bit sad like too. I looked up at his face and wiped his tears with my hand even though mine were still flowing. I traced the marks of water I left on his shirt and then out of no where took of his shirt and threw it to the ground. I then cuddled up to Edward who accepted me for me and was there when I needed him, like now.

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the wonderful characters I love. sniffle this goes for every chapter!**

**A/N this chapter is actually related to something of mine, and I can understand if you think it's a bit confusing. But that's what it's like when a relative happens all your emotions are just let out at once. Well I hope you like this chapter. Tell me what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5well really its chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

His heat radiated off of his body engulfing me with his sorrow and comfort. My sobs wouldn't stop though and I needed to get my mind off of this for a second. I turned my face to Edward and it was if he knew I needed to do something so he handed me his phone. "Thank you." I said, I was pretty worn out now but I didn't have time for that I needed to tell Renee and get to come up and help me with this week. The phone rang three times and I was about to give up when the phone was picked up.

"Hello?" I heard Renee answer.

"Mommy, I need you to come to Forks tomorrow." I said my breathing not normal and sobs broke through. Edward took the phone again thinking I wouldn't be able to talk. That boy knew me way to well. He spoke quietly and quickly, rubbing circles into my back. I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes while he talked to Renee for me. I couldn't believe this was happening today. My dad just died, jasper hates me, and I'm having weird feelings for my best friend in the whole world. Man my life is pretty screwed up. Edward hung up the phone and I looked up to see what was going to happen.

"Your mom said the she would take the first flight in tomorrow and help with all that needs to be done. You can stay over here for the time that you need to if you want, and I'll get Emmet or Rose to go get you some clothes." He rambled on, "Do you want me to call Jasper now or later?"

"I'll call later tomorrow, I really just want to sleep some." I replied. I don't think I could talk on a phone right now seeing how the other conversations ended up. I started to get up from Edwards lap but fell back down when my legs gave out. "Ugh, Edward will you help me. I want to change into some of your sweat pants and a shirt."

"Ok." So this time he just got up and grabbed some clothes from his dresser and tossed them to me. I waited till his back was to me and I changed quickly into his clothes, and lay back down on the couch waiting for whatever was next. "Bella you can have the bed." He was so nice to me I knew he cared and that meant a lot. He picked me up and dropped me on his bed.

"Thank you Edward, but will you please stay in here with me. I need you right now." It was the truth, who knows what I would do if I didn't have anyone with me at the moment. I pulled the comforter over my body and waited for Edward to get in. He looked kind of hesitant and excited it seemed. The feelings passed though as he finally crawled in next to me, but when he got down he looked a bit awkward. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was lying on his back. Why is he being so weird? I pushed my arms through his and wiggled up so I was squished into him. I pulled in my legs and just let my breathing calm down for a second.

"Bella I need to tell you something." He whispered to me so I looked up at him and he was staring at into my eyes with a very serious look. To tell you the truth I don't think that I could go through anything else tonight. While I was waiting for the something he let go of me and pushed me away from him while his hands were still on my arms. What was going on? The alarm showed through and he quickly pulled me back to him. "Bella, I, well I love you."

"Edward I love you too." I knew we loved each other. He was my best friend I could never think of anybody nicer then him. Sure I wished it could be more but I knew he would never want to be with me any other way.

"No, Bella I'm in love with you."

"Oh." My response wasn't what he was looking for and he turned back to his back leaving me shocked and alone on the other side of the bed. I curled into a ball, bringing my legs to my chest. I couldn't believe what he had just said to me, but I knew what I had to say back. So I turned to face him still in my ball position and whispered like I was talking to myself. "Edward I love you too, that's what I said and I meant it." He didn't move so I thought he didn't hear. I crawled on all fours to him and sat Indian style waiting for him to look or even glace in my direction. God this was the reason I wouldn't say anything before, I can't loose him. Not tonight, not ever. But stupid emotional me started to cry again because stupid Edward won't listen. That immediately got his attention though. He shot up and pulled me into another hug and just rocked me back and forth.

"Do you really? Because I know this is weird and so close to your dads death but I don't know what's going to happen in the morning."

"Edward can we talk about this situation in the morning please? I am not sure if my brain can take much more. I love you and I love that you are taking care of me it's really sweet. Thank you."

"Anytime beautiful." With that he pulled me into his arms and hummed to me as I fell into a dreamless sleep.

**It's a bit short I know but I'm not positive how long I'll be away from the computer for the next few days. Thanks for the review and stuff! I will post something for yall later.**


	6. Chapter 5!

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I woke up in a light filled room, I don't remember what happened last night but I could feel two clear emotions sadness and love, two very different feelings that were attacking every part of my body. While I laid there for a moment my body started to notice its surroundings. I felt two warm arms surrounding my body and my head was against something warm and hard. It was hard opening my eyes to see but eventually I did. I was in Edward's room, in Edward's arms, resting on Edward's chest. Why were we like that? Then yesterday came back to me like a professional boxer hitting me in the stomach. I flinched automatically making Edward open his eyes. He looked so happy but a little lost then the spark of knowledge flew across his eyes and he smiled at me. I scooted closer to him and just rested there for a moment until I knew I would have to get up and do something.

"It's time to get up." I whispered to Edward who frowned at me.

"I don't know if I ever want to let you go Bella" I didn't want him to either.

"But we have to tell Jasper about Charlie and then me need to talk about us." I didn't want to talk though. I just wish every day could be nice and that Charlie would magically show up at Edward's house.

"I guess I'll call Jasper and then when he leaves you and I can talk. Bella you can go downstairs and I'm sure Esme will have something you can eat. I will be down right after ok?" I rolled out of his arms and onto my feet. But before I left I smiled at him and nodded my head for my answer. Walking out of his room I didn't feel as great, I was tired and just wanted to be held by Edward all day. Coming down the stairs I saw Emmet on the couch, he looked like a little 5 year old in a 19yr olds body. If you didn't know Emmet was Edward's older brother, he graduated last year with his girlfriend Rose. Yes she is beautiful if you were wondering. Her name does give away how she looks, I mean the most beautiful flower and well model woman. Anyway Emmet was playing some video games until he saw me.

"BELLA!" He yelled and ran to give me a hug.

"Hey Emmet." He swept me up into a bear hug almost cutting off my air passage before he set me down.

"Bella, come sit down and let's talk!" I did what I was told and I went over to the couch with him. "I didn't see you come in. Did Esme open the door for you?" I giggled at that comment but then felt a wave of sadness wash over me as I thought about him not knowing. A few tears started flowing out of my eyes before I stopped them with my hands. "Bella what's going on, why are you here, and how come the door bell didn't ring!?" He was getting a bit frustrated that I wasn't giving him any answers but I just need him to calm down before I talked to him. When I saw that he was done I began to explain every thing that happened in the past day with out crying throughout the whole thing. But when I was done he pulled me into a hug and I cried my eyes out. "I'm so sorry, I didn't even know. I would have kept you company last night. Even if Edward was here, and Jasper god that boy I can't believe that. Don't worry I'll beat him up later. I'm so so sorry Bella I don't even know what to say." Emmet then cried with me about everything. I couldn't believe what was going on still a bit shocked that he was in my arms and we were both sobbing but that stopped when Esme came into the room and cleared her throat.

"Bella, when did you get here?" I looked up at her still crying like a baby and she seemed to notice because she ran over to Emmet and me wrapping us in a hug. "What's going on?" I caught Emmet shaking his head in the corner of my eye and tried calming myself down a little bit before I explained to her what had been going on.

"Charlie's cancer took the best of him last night and I couldn't function enough to do anything so I stayed with Edward. Nothing happened if you were worried about that, I just needed my best friend and he was there for me." She wrapped me in another hug again and led me to the kitchen to get something to eat for breakfast.

"Bella I want you to stay here at our house while your mother is in Forks and maybe we could talk her into letting you stay here instead of going to Arizona with her. I'm not positive what we are going to do but all I know is I don't want you to be alone for a while." She said this to me while fixing me some cereal to eat. When she was done she passed me the bowl. I really didn't realize how hungry I was until I took my first bite but the cereal was gone as fast as it was put in front of me. I sat there for a moment hands in my lap looking around the empty kitchen, Esme must have left while I was eating. Footsteps were coming from outside the kitchen and getting louder I hoped it was somebody I wouldn't have to explain everything to. When they walked in the doorway my heart sped up a little.

Edward, he looked perfect standing there, the light helped the color of his hair making it sparkle. How I wanted to go plant a kiss on him right then, but I knew better. I'm not ready for him, and plus we still need to talk. He walked up to me and hugged me to his chest. I pulled my arms free and wrapped them around his torso breathing in his delicious smell. I never want to leave him; Edward will always be the boy in my life now that Charlie was gone. I had a bad feeling about being happy though. Charlie just died and I don't know what to do! My feelings need to slow down for a second.

"Rough morning?" How could he tell? Was it just written on my face that I had been crying for who knows how long?

"Emmet and Esme, two down one to go. Speaking of that one when is he coming? Because I need Renee to come and tell me when everything is going to happen and remember that we still need to talk. "

"Jasper said after school that he would try to come, but he sounded mad still so I wouldn't make any promises." I frowned at what he said and just sat for a few minutes in his embrace.

"Edward, what's going to happen to me? Will we ever be together?" I knew the answer would be painful, and that neither of us wanted the real answer.

"Bella, no matter what happens I will always be there. I love you and you're my best friend I don't know what I would do if you left me." His voice sounded sincere and I believed what he said.

"I need to talk to Renee now." I took his phone out of his front pocket and dialed her cell number.

"Renee? I forgot if you told me when your plane getting in."

"Bella dear I just got in, could you come pick me up? Or should I grab a rental?"

"Edward and I can come and get you just wait there. Oh and you might want to get a hotel room for you to stay in. I'm staying at the Cullen's house."

"Alright sweetie I'll call and work that out. See you in a little bit!" With that she hung up the phone. I looked up and gave Edward his phone.

"Ok let's get to the car and go to get your mother." With that he took my hand in his leading me to the garage. His Volvo was closest to us which was nice and left me fewer obstacles to trip over. I climbed into the passenger side of the car and stared out the window as we drove to the airport. The silence was nice and it left me to think what was going to happen with me. I started to doze off.

"Bella, I love you and I think that we are better together." Jasper was telling me.

"Jasper no! You can't ruin your friendship with Edward! I am just going to go to Arizona if you boys don't stop telling me about how much you love me and need me." I was furious, why are they doing this to me?

"Ok Bella but you're telling Edward!" He yelled once before walking away.

I woke up with a jolt. Looking around at my surroundings I saw Edward and mom in the car with us. Wait mom?

"Bella, finally decided to join us did you?" She was joking and I knew it but it was a tad bit annoying.

"Hello mom, how was the flight?"

"Wonderful, you've been out for some time Bella. How much sleep did you get last night?" I thought back to when I went to sleep and I couldn't really remember.

"I don't know mom. Last night was kind of tough on me and all." She backed off after that knowing the last thing I needed was for her to be fake and annoying. I couldn't wait till we got home to tell her what I had decided in my dream. I _needed _to leave Edward. As much as I didn't want to, I couldn't ever ruin his relationship with Jasper. I would never be able to live with myself.

I decided on sending Renee a text. I would delete it right after and all would be ok. Edward wont have a decision to make between his two friends and I could go without him thinking I wouldn't want to be here.

"Mom, I need to go with you after everything is done. ASAP! Please delete this after you read!" I sent it and waited for her phone to get it. The vibrations were a little loud but Edward didn't take his eyes off the road. Mission accomplished.

**I know Bella sounds like jerk but really she is doing what Edward did to her in New Moon… I didn't think of it till I started to explain her side of the story. Well I will get the next chapter out soon!**


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I walked into the Cullen's house with Renee behind me and Edward in front. I looked at the clock and it said 4:00, which meant if Jasper was going to come then it would be soon. I walked into the living room with Edward gave him the eyes that said could I have some alone time with my mom, I need to talk to her about something. He understood immediately and walked away leaving us together to plan things out.

"Mom, Charlie said cremate him. I will do what he wanted and then I need to go back with you. We can get everything settled in Phoenix and I won't have to ruin Edward and Jaspers lives anymore then I already have." I finished my speech breathless and I don't know why but I felt a bit empty. Like my body already knew that I was going to miss Edward too much to even explain in words. I let a sigh escape my mouth and my head dropped into my hands.

"Bella I will respect your wishes and do what you want, but I will say that I think you're making a tough decision and that you might need Edward in the future. But I will take you with me and we shall leave in two days. I will send Phil back here to get your things and honey I'm so sorry this had to happen so soon." She pulled me into another hug and sobs broke through making me exhausted. I sat there in my mother's arms for what seemed like hours. I knew in reality it was only minutes. "I'm going to call a cab to take me to the hotel, you tell Jasper and Edward your decision today. Then tomorrow we shall go to the hospital and pack some things for you to take when we leave."

"Ok, thank you mom for everything you're helping me with. I love you." I watched her walk out to the front porch before I went to Edward's room to see what he was doing. What surprised me was that Jasper was on the couch in there and I don't remember him coming in. When they noticed me walking into the room they both rushed to my side but I just shooed them away.

"Bella what is going on please tell me." Jasper was being really whinny today.

"Sit!" gosh can you take a hint; I don't want to be standing next to you so sit down. Edward got on the left side of the couch and jasper on the right. I sat in the middle Indian style facing Jasper and leaning on Edward's shoulder.

"I'm going to need you both to not say or do anything while I say what _I_ am doing," they both nodded at me and I started the story. "You both should know that Charlie died and well I no have no house or anything. Well I think that it would be best if for my senior year I went with Renee. I can get help and still have my parent with me." They both sat there with mouths hanging open. I turned and dangled my legs off the couch, grabbed both of their hands and gave them a little squeeze." WE can talk on the phone an... and you can come visit me if you want." I started crying freely but kept explaining, "I can't stay here anymore. I needed him and he left me!" My face was sitting in my hands and I just cried waiting for them to say something, anything.

"Bella…" Jasper started but the tears caught up to him and he pulled me into his embrace. I looked at Edward and he still looked shocked and wouldn't look back at me.

"Ed…" He cut me off by putting his hand in the air. Before saying what he needed to.

"You're telling _me_, that you are **leaving?** Last night you say you love me and now you're just throwing that away like garbage!? Isabella! Why in the world would you do this, I can't believe you!" He stormed out of the room and into the piano room. I just curled into Jaspers body not able to register that Edward, the one I love, my best friend probably wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the day. I dozed off not able to handle anymore.

dream

"Bella, how could you do this to me?" Edward was crying I don't know how I could watch.

"Edward it's for your own good." I tried explaining.

"I don't care anymore, you are nothing to me and I don't know if I will ever be able to see to you again." He was so harsh and just walked away leaving me by myself. I curled into a ball and started to cry.

I woke up with Jasper rubbing circles in my back and I was crying. "Bella, it's ok. He will come around. I think that it's best if you stay at my house though. Call your mom and then tomorrow you can talk to him, things will get better." He sounded so calm and it felt like his feelings were being transferred from his finger tips to me.

"No Jasper I'm not going to screw up anyone else's life. I will just stay in Emmet's room or something. You need to get home, and if you want to tomorrow you can hang out with me and my mom and then I'm leaving Thursday. God jasper I'm going to miss you."

"You too Bella and I would love to spend tomorrow with you and your mom." He said and stood me up and got up beside me. He wrapped me into his arms and then let me go after a few seconds. "Call me when you want me to come over." I nodded and he walked out of the room. It seems like all I do is hurt people these days. Edward and Jasper what am I going to do with yall? I walked out of Edward's room and searched for Emmet but ran into somebody. I started to fall backwards but was caught by two strong arms.

"You might want to be a little more careful Bella; we wouldn't want you to get hurt." I laughed as Emmet placed me back on my feet. "Edwards out in his car and I think you should go talk to him." He got serious

"Emmet I can't." I started crying again and Emmet wrapped me in a hug like my dad would do if we had a fight. "I wish he would get it but he doesn't understand that I can't stay here and ruin his life or Jasper's anymore." My tears kept falling faster and faster.

"Bella, calm down. I will try talking to him you just go to my room and try sleeping." I did what I was told again and walked to his room. I got to his bed and pulled his blankets over me and curled into a ball. I couldn't stop crying and I haven't even left yet. I couldn't fall asleep, knowing that Edward wouldn't want to see me again and that we probably wouldn't ever be friends again. The door opened and I was hoping that it was Edward but Emmet walked through.

"What did he say?" I needed to know if I could ever fix things between us again. I mean just last night we were telling how much we loved each other.

"You need to give him some time, I know for sure he wants to see you off but I don't know if he wants to hang out with you while you do the cremation stuff."

"Ok, thank you Emmet." I wiped my tears away and curled back into the bed. "Emmet?"

"Yes Bella?" He whispered to me.

"Can you stay here with me? I really need a big brother right now." I sniffled a little and waited to see if he would answer.

"Of course Bella." He crawled in with me, kind of reminding me of last night. Except the way he held me was like my brother holding me if I had one. I drifted off to sleep.

Emmet's snoring woke me up around 3 am and I was a little thirsty. I wiggled out of his embrace and rolled out of his bed and walked to the kitchen. Walking in the Cullen house in the dark was a little scary and I didn't really want to be walking around without anyone to scare away vampires lurking in the corners. But I had to be brave tonight and go get my water. I got out a cup as quietly as I could and poured me some water from the filter. Taking a sip of it and sitting down felt wonderful to me, like I was drinking water that would give me enough strength to kill an irritable grizzly. Thoughts were running through my mind as I sat in the dark, quiet, huge house. I needed to go to the hospital.

I stood up quickly and rushed to the key hanger. I knew which one was Edwards and took it off and ran to his car, I'm surprised I didn't trip on the way there or something. I opened the garage door and raced out of the drive way before anyone woke up. The familiar roads looked different in the dark, passing the high school reminding me of the way things had been 24 hours ago. The trees looked as dreary as ever, and the normal amount of rain poured down from above. It's like the sky knew my exact feelings and was crying with me. I pulled into the hospital parking and rushed inside. It wasn't as busy as normal but it was still moving.

I walked up to the front desk and waited till the nurse looked up at me to explain to her what I needed to happen. "Hello I am Bella Swan, Charlie Swan's daughter. He was cremated today and I want to take his ashes and spread them?"

She smiled knowing that there isn't a certain way to put that, "If you follow me I can take you to where he's held." She gave me a box of tissues and walked me toward a room. Opening a door I felt a wave of depression wash over me. I couldn't see much because my vision was blurred automatically. "I have what you need and I will walk you to your car. That is if you are able to drive in this state." She faced me with something in her hand. We walked out of the room and through the front office outside. I lead her to my car and when I opened the door to get inside she handed me my dad (I know how horrible that sounds but I have no other way to put it.)

"Thank you; I don't know what I would have done without you to help me do this." I mustered up a little smile before I got in my car and drove off. I saw the same views as coming here but I really did notice anything about where I was going. I had to let Charlie live, metaphorically speaking.

When I pulled up to the cliff over seeing the ocean I took a deep breath and looked at the view. This was the last place I will see my Father because I was letting him go. I stepped out of the car and walked as close as I could to the edge without falling in. The wind swirled my around my head and I stood there for a moment letting myself cry without being self conscious. I opened up his holding place and I let the ashes fall into the ocean. The waves crashed against the rocks taking my father with them, how I longed to tell him how much he meant to me, how I wished to say I loved him once more. I dropped to the ground and curled up bringing my legs to my chest I rested my head on my legs for a few moments until I got so mad I couldn't help but let out my frustration.

"HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME!? I'M NOT READY FOR YOU TO GO YET DAD!" I stood and looked up towards the sky as I screamed at it, "COULD YOU NOT TELL I NEEDED YOU!? RENEE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND LIKE YOU DO! SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME THE SAME WAY! YOU HELPED ME BUT SHE DOESN"T KNOW HOW MY MIND WORKS!" I just let myself get pulled under and let out a blood curdling scream. "AHHH." I fell back and was caught once again. But I didn't want to be caught; I wanted to fall into the depths of nothingness, I wanted to forget everything that had happened. I fought against the arms that held me, turned around and hit this person over and over wishing he would just let me go. "STOP IT!" I screamed at him, "I DON"T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE! I'M TIRED OF LIVING JUST LET ME GO!" I cried even harder and still they wouldn't drop me so I just gave up. And fell to my knees my head in his shins. "Daddy, why did you leave? I still need you here." I cried and held onto his legs. "You couldn't have waited a few more weeks? I could have helped myself and been emotionally ready. I love you and I wish I could hear your voice once more…" I whispered into the dark night, but I stopped there my voice was gone and all I had left were tears. Two arms picked me up, "Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, WHY!?" My voice gradually getting louder I couldn't stop myself I just repeat the same thing. I heard two voices from around me but I didn't care, there wasn't anything that I cared about anymore. "Edward…" I whispered. I wish he would understand now I felt. I wish he knew about the things that were going on right now. I cried even harder knowing our relationship would never be repaired. "Please understand…" I whispered now hoping somebody would hear me. I was too lazy to open my eyes but I heard somebody calling my name. I didn't want to listen; instead I let songs play through my head that I knew would be played at his funeral if he had one.

_I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories_

I'm so tired but I can't sleep  
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep  
it's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word  
we are screaming inside, but we can't be heard…

_I'm already there  
Take a look around  
I'm the sunshine in your hair  
I'm the shadow on the ground  
I'm the whisper in the wind  
I'm your imaginary friend  
and I know I'm in your prayers  
Oh I'm already there_

Once again my tears took over; I turned into his shirt and wiped my eyes on it before continuing the search through my head

_"'Cos there's holes in the floor of Heaven,  
"And her tears are pouring down.  
"That's how you know she's watching,  
"Wishing she could be here now.  
"An' sometimes if you're lonely,  
"Just remember she can see.  
"There's holes in the floor of Heaven  
"And she's watching over you and me."_

I stopped after that last song because who knew how much more I could take? When I finally decided I should open my eyes I found myself in Edwards's living room, in Edward's arms. I rubbed an arm across my face and curled into him not knowing what else to do.

"When did you leave Bella? Why didn't you get one of us?" He sounded angry and I didn't want him to be mad anymore.

"Did you not watch me out there? I was horrible and it was meant for me and my dad not anybody else." I sounded a bit pissed to myself. But I didn't care. I was pissed; he had no right to follow me. I tried to get out of his arms once more but he didn't think that was the best plan. I kicked and screamed till I felt my leg hit something; I looked up confused and saw Esme, Carlisle and Emmet sitting around us. They all looked worried and a bit mad; I might have even seen some tired looks. Great Edward wasn't the only one who saw me like that they did also.

"Bella dear why didn't you wake us?" Esme said she was the most worried I guess.

"You freaking just walked out of my door Bella, I could've helped!" Ouch the mad one of course Emmet.

"Honey couldn't you have waited?" Carlisle, he must have had a long day.

"Emmet, there is nothing you can do. I didn't wake yall because I was sitting drinking water and I needed to do that. Could we please talk about this in the morning? I yawned for effect but it was a bigger yawn then I meant it to be.

"Of course, let's all get some sleep and then in the morning or when ever you wake up we'll talk." Esme stated and we all agreed and walked our separate directions. Well of course I was carried by Mr. I'm grumpy and wont put stupid Bella down. He sat me in the bed and I scooted over for him to get in also. He got under the covers and I followed him and curled into his side.

He rolled over and whispered into my ear, "I will miss you too much Bella." And that was the last thing I heard before I drifted off to sleep.

**Tuesday 12:00pm**

I could feel somebody get into the bed on the other side of me and Edward and I could only guess who it was so I turned over to face him. Edward didn't like that tough so he pulled himself to me and so I was sandwiched in.

"Hi Jasper."

"Bella I heard about last night you get some sleep." I did what I was told and fell back into my wonderful dreamless sleep.

**Wednesday 4:00am **

I woke up and tried to move to see what time it was but couldn't move because I had three people around me. Wait when did Emmet come into this bed? Huh, well I should wake up Edward andgo pack because I needed to be in the airport at 1:00pm. Great that gave me about 9 hours.

I started shaking my legs seeing if that would get them up but Edward and Emmet just placed their arms on them, dang. Then I decided screaming would work, "RAPE, RAPE. EDWARD STOP!" Hahahahah wow those boys sure do jump high when I yell like that. When Emmet saw nothing was wrong he just laughed and threw a pillow at me. Edward and Jasper did the same thing. I knew I could go now since they were all up.

"Boys we need to go to my house so I can pack." They all three stopped smiling when I said that, and I had a feeling that I copied that look.

"Ok." Edward finally said breaking the awful silence, he stood up and grabbed his keys and phone off of the counter by his bed. He waited for the rest of us to get up before ushering us all outside. We climbed into his Volvo and rode silently to my neighborhood. When we pulled into my driveway I walked up to my house and took the key from my dad's flower plant and unlocked the door. I walked to the kitchen and sat down in the nearest chair I could find. My body started shaking a little bit as the tears started once again. I was getting a bit tired of this but I knew that I couldn't beat myself out over something that I had no control over. This house hurt me knowing that I would never see Charlie walk in that door while I cooked dinner and he would never stay up late waiting for me to get home.

"Bella I'm going to get you a cereal bar to eat." Jasper was trying to be nice but it didn't help at all. I needed to be strong though and I walked up the stairs to my room. When I got in there I pulled out my two suit cases and started to fill them with all of the clothing I could fit in there. I left out most of my winter stuff because Phil could pick that up when he came to get the other stuff. Packing didn't take too long I finished in about an hour, and in the middle of that there was a little breakfast break. I set my alarm on the side of my bed for 11:30 and I got on the bed with the others who had already drifted off and fell asleep once again.

**11:30am**

Damn that annoying beeping noise that my alarm makes. I opened my eyes to turn off my alarm and couldn't find anyone. "EDWARD!" I heard somebody laugh around in my room and I flipped off my bed trying to find who it was. When I hit the floor, Déjà vu! Wow I felt like it was the morning before my dad died again, but it wasn't. I was leaving and I needed to get ready. I walked into my bathroom and got all cleaned up and nicer then I was. When I walked out I didn't know where they all were so I went down stairs to find them eating lunch. Boys, can't live with them, can't live without them. "Hey will one of you get my luggage and take it to the car?" Emmett stood up and ran upstairs to get it for me. Gosh I was going to miss him like no other.

"Bella are you ready to go?" Edward asked I nodded at him and we waited for Emmett to get the bags in the car situated before getting into the car all together for the last time. Before the Airport we went to drop off Jasper, as we pulled into his driveway my demon tears formed. I walked out of the car and waited for him to walk around so I could hug him.

"I will miss you so much, email me if you want to it's your decision." I told him.

"Of course, don't worry. Bella you get better and come visit us!" He said. I hugged him once more before getting into the car to leave.

**12:45**

Wow, the trip to the airport went by too fast. I'm not ready to say good bye to Edward just yet. "Emmett will you hold the car for me?" Edward asked. I didn't hear Emmett's response because I was to busy grabbing my stuff from the back. I felt a hand grab one of the suitcases and then Edward's other hand grabbed mine. We went through baggage checking and got my ticket stuff done before I found my mom. She was over by my gate and I figured we were about to leave. I turned to Edward and looked at him for just a second as he wiped the tears from my eyes. He kissed me lightly on the cheek and I had to talk before anything else happened.

"Edward I will never forget you and you better call me everyday."

"I promise Bella don't worry things will work out and maybe I could get Carlisle to buy us plane tickets to visit each other." Edward wiped away my tears once again and hugged me horribly tight.

"Bella dear come on you need to get on the plane it's time to leave." My mom broke Edward and my hug and dragged me on board. I didn't want to go though so I broke away once more and ran to Edward I kissed him very lovingly and our lips moved in perfect rhythm for the few seconds we had.

"I love you Edward." I did and I would always. I hope he knows it. I finally went on board the plane and I felt something in my jacket pocket. Reaching in there it was a note and a voice recorder and head phones I didn't know why I had this in my pocket. Maybe it was from Edward…

**Wow… that was intense to write and I'm sorry if I misspelled any names Emmett's I didn't mean to but at 3 in the morning it's tough…**

**Well can anyone guess what is on the recorder!?**


	8. sorry everyone

**Hey everybody sorry I haven't updated since summer but my cousin got cancer, and he is like an older brother to me so I'm kind of freaking out right now because he is 19 and might not live past January. Well I have decided that I don't like the way I wrote this before so I am starting it back on a clean slate with a new title. I don't know yet but you could check my profile soon. Sorry to bother you with this.**

**-Mo.09**


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